Deep Blues

There are days when it is hard to find the strength to lift my head. My alarm goes off, and I just lay in a bed that will forever feel empty. There is nothing comforting about my bed, but somehow it feels better than the life that seems to be waiting for me to pull back the sheets. When did this life get so complicated that it takes a major decision to get me out of bed? Some days seem to be painted with deep blue strokes, and rays of sun have no chance at breaking through. What happens to the Christians that sometimes feel lost? The Christians that know the answers to the shallow questions they want to ask, what about them? I know where my salvation is found. And I also know there is more to my life than me. This doesn't change the weakness that I still feel from time to time. This doesn't change the pain that seems to grip me when I let my guard down. Tears form for unseen reasons, and laughter only happens when I reolize how rediculious I am being. But the weakness is still there.
Do these emotions have anything to do with my faith in Christ? Are these emotions my way of telling God that he is not enough for me, that I need more tan what he offers? Read the Psalms and you will read David talking about the same things I am talking about, but there is a difference... David follows his crys with statement of obdeince and faithfullness...I follow my questions with tears and more questions.
Not all days are like this, so I know that there is more to life than just me and my emotions. I know God is good and faithfull to me even when I am not. I see his goodness all around me, and I would even like to believe that I m part of that goodness. I would like to think that I am usefull to him in this sense. But the blue strokes run deep sometimes. But I know there is much more to this life than the blue.