Wednesday, December 10, 2008

This Last Month

Yesterday marked an entire month of martial bliss for Leah and me. November 9th Leah and I got married in front of our family and friends. I have held off writing about it because I really wanted to process the day. Monday night Leah and I went to see Colbie Caillat in concert. I got the tickets to the show not because she is one of my favorite artists (even though I sang every song she sang!), but because her music has always reminded me of Leah. And she reminds me of our wedding day. We had our first dance as a married couple to her song "Magic”. We danced to that song again at the concert. That moment has brought me to this post.
The days leading up to the wedding were full of stress and anticipation. Getting families into Dallas, finding last minute cloths for everyone, making sure Leah wasn't stressing out, and trying not to let the words "I just want this to be over" slip out of my mouth was taking a giant toll on me right up to the moment I arrived at the garden. I will be honest enough to say that it was a fight for me to enjoy the week before the wedding. I hate the fact that I let anything get in the way of me celebrating what the Lord was about to do!
I waited at the front of the building that blocked me seeing the garden that the ceremony would grow out of. My friend Jon stood by me playing on his guitar the song that I asked him to play while Leah and I would take Holy Communion. As he sang the sweet words:

“…Love will sustainLove will provideLove will not ceaseAt the end of time…”


I was hoping that those words would be true for Leah and me. As we stood there waiting for my cue to tell me that it was safe to go around the building, I got to greet everyone as they arrived. I greeted my friend Mike who, even though we haven’t talked in a while, I hold so deep to my heart because he walked with me through some of the loneliest roads of my life. Seeing his face started to help me feel some of the magnitude of what was about to happen. To my surprise, a couple of our friends that we met on out mission trip to Honduras came walking up to me. That trip was a big reason the ceremony was about to begin. As I watched our guest arrive, I could feel the Lord opening my heart and helping me to focus on what He was doing. I got the sign to head back to the garden, and Jon kept playing as we walked:

“…Love is the arms that are holding youLove never fails youWhen my heart won't make a soundWhen I can't turn back aroundWhen the sky is falling downNothing is
greater than thisGreater than this…”


I walked the path leading to the ceremony site. I walked under some hanging ivy thinking how grateful I was that the Lord made that ivy for this moment in my life. I was greeted by my brothers and my best man, Bob Cornwell. I looked at Bob and started smiling and laughing. See, Bob has been my sponsor during my time in Recovery. He knows absolutely the worst things that I have done in my life, and he told me that he still would be honored to be my best man during the ceremony! We serve a God of redemption and grace! I then walked up to the pastor who was about to perform the ceremony to get my flower pinned on me. He hugged me, and turned me around so no one could see what he was telling me. Steve Hayes started as a guy that I would drink with, then turned into my pastor, and is now my best friend. He watched every step that Leah and I had taken together; who else would perform the ceremony? Everyone was in place to watch the beautiful mess that God had been (and still is) perfecting.
Jon changed the tune on his guitar as the ladies came down. The first bridesmaid was my niece, MaKayla. She was nervous and beautiful as she walked to her spot. Next was Celeste. She is Leah’s friend from Seattle that she met in Argentina. The Leah’s sister, Laura. It was great seeing Laura support her baby sister. Then the cutest flower girl came stomping down. We had my young niece, Skylar, giggle down the aisle holding her daddy’s hand as she dropped the basket of flowers at my feet. It was awesome! Then Jon changed the tune of the guitar again to signal that it was time for Leah to make her entrance onto the seen. I took a deep breath, praying that the Lord would help me to drink every moment of this in!
I spotted her just before she walked she walked under the ivy. I started cursing the ivy that I had just given thanks for, because it was blocking my sight of Leah for a moment. Then she appeared again on the arm of her father. What a picture of our Heavenly Father’s love. There is so much to Leah and her dad’s story…it was amazing to see him puffing out his chest as proud as only a father could be! Leah was wearing a white dress that she had made for her wedding day. There are precious thoughts that I had about her in that dress, but I am going to keep those for me! It almost hurt taking her hand from her dad. After handing her life into my care, he stood there for a second. I’m sure that some people thought that he got confused or forgot what to do…but, I looked at his face and saw something different. I’m thankful for Bruce Kirk not shrugging away his emotions that day and actually allowing himself to feel the weight of the moment. Leah and I turned and Steve started telling our story to those who attended.
Steve walked us through our own story, and then took drew back the “curtain” to show how we are all a part of a greater story that makes it possible for us to love; God’s story. We then gave our vows to each other. We had written them ourselves. I was in awe as Leah promised to respect and love me. “Really? What do you see in me that makes you want to choose to promise that,” I thought. Like I said, we serve a God of redemption and grace! As we exchanged our vows, leaves fell on us from the tree that stood over us. A good friend of mine, Josh Farrar, said that he felt like he was standing to watch an important moment in the life of the Church. My brother, Nathan, said that is looked like the Holy Spirit of God was descending on us. It might sound presumptuous of me to say, but it felt like that to me! I felt the Lord blessing us as we promised to serve each other even though we knew it was going to hurt sometimes. I felt the Spirit guiding us as took His Holy Communion. As we took the bread and drank the juice that symbolized Jesus willingly dying of our sins so that we could be reconciled to the Father, I heard Jon singing:
“…Love is right hereLove is aliveLove is the wayThe truth the lifeLove is the
river than flows throughLove is the arms that are holding youLove is the place
you will fly toLove never fails you.”

Steve pronounced us, we sealed it with a kiss, took pictures to prove that actually happened, and then partied because we wanted to celebrate what the Lord had given us.
I could go on and on about everything that happened at the reception, but I wont. Here is what I want you to know about my perception of the reception: I had a giant gummy bear for my grooms cake (which proves how cool Leah is for letting me have it!), we had a photo booth for people to take some pictures so they could remember our wedding, everyone got along, Leah and I enjoyed our first dance as husband and wife, and I wish I could relive the day again.
So dancing at the concert on Monday night was a great reminder of that day. Waking up beside Leah every morning is a great reminder that the Lord has the power to do anything He wants…and He chose to let me marry Leah…He’s a good God!