There is almost no better feeling than watching people you love get married. I had the privilege of attending a beautiful wedding ceremony of one my dear friends on Saturday. It was great to watch him stumble through the wedding vows he hand wrote for his wife. He cried as he listened to he recite her vows to love and support him throughout the upcoming years of their lives. It was amazing to see two people at the height of happiness and joy....
One of my employees just left on maternity leave. His wife is gave birth today to their first child. As I write this they are holding their son... and love is flowing in that hospital room. A new life has started...
But, on Thursday night my store got word that one of my employees had taken his own life. He was 24. I had worked with this guy for close to two years. He was funny and caring. He could make you laugh without effort. He was so unassuming in the ways he worked his way into my heart. He and I did not have have a close relationship outside of work... but that doesn't stop me from feeling a deep sadness. I have spent the last three days watching all of my employees crumble and break about this loss. Every time I watch them break down, I am forced to relive this tragic end to a life. As a believer in Jesus Christ, I find comfort in my eternal destination. But, I cannot find the same comfort for this guy. He was not a believer in Jesus... and that is weighing heavy on my heart. He carried the heavy burden of his short comings and faults. He never felt like he lived up to the expectation of his parents. He lost all hope in this life. He felt only loneliness in his last moments. He could no longer handle the thought of disappointing the people around him, so he took his life into his own hands... And he left the rest of us here to try to make sense of things. He left his parents with the thought that they didn't love their son enough, and pushed him too hard. And, I must say that is crap. No parent should have to deal with that! He was wrong, because his parents would do anything to have their son back! They would do anything to let him know how much they love him... but they will never get that chance. He took that away from them. What a waist of a beautiful life.
Now, I am forced to look around at the people in my life. Who doesn't know how much I love them? Who is in a dark place? Who is drowning in the lies the enemy? Who around me doesn't know my Jesus? Who hasn't felt the love and grace of the Saviour? Who is still trying to carry the load of all their wrongs? Who in my life is loosing hope? God save us!
So this week has shown me the full spectrum of life. A child has been born and has started his journey in this life. Two people have joined theirs lives into one. And, a young man lost hope and ended his life alone. This is where my life is being lived. It is dirty when you try to live your life with people who need Jesus. Jesus paid all of our debt in full when he lived on this earth then died on that cross. He died so we could live in freedom from sin and death... but sin and death continues to chase after us. Why wont we just trust in Christ and be set free? This has been one of the most gut wrenching weeks of my life... but their are people living their lives in peace and joy, while other live in devastation and heart break. God save us
