Out of no where it started to rain today. It was a typical hot, muggy, summer day. You could hear some faint thunder in the distance; then you saw the rain start to hit the pavement. As usual, the windows of my truck where rolled down; so I grabbed my keys and ran outside to roll them up. After getting the windows up, I started to make a dash out of the rain. I stopped running and started walking... then I just stopped. I stood there on the sidewalk of my apartment with my head down, letting the rain slowly soak my head and shoulders. The rain came down harder, and I lifted my face up to the sky... I couldn't help but to be overwhelmed at the moment.
Last night, Leah and I had an amazing night. As the sky went from sunset to dusk we took a walk in the park close to her house. The temperature dropped about ten degrees as we walked under the trees... then out of no where I saw a small flash of light that I hadn't seen since I was a kid visiting my grandparents in Arkansas. We stopped and watched as fireflies danced under the trees. It was amazing. It was the first time Leah saw them, and probably the first bug that she hadn't wanted to run away from. It was amazing to watch these creatures light up the night (in a very small way, of course).
Who is this God that loves us? Who is this God that loves us in a mighty way that sends His son to die a death that I could never die? Who is this God that loves us in the smallest of ways to send a rain storm to remind us that His mercies fall upon us like rain from the sky? Who is this God that allows us to see His creation light up the night? How complete is His majesty that He allows us to call Him "Father"? How gracious is our Father that He makes Himself known to such a broken vessel as me?
I was overwhelmed today because I repeatedly forget that the Lord loves me. I forget because I am selfish and self-centered. I forget because I get caught up in trying to ensure I get things my way. I forget His love until I am reminded of my brokenness. I struggle and fight for the things of this world until I am exhausted, and my exhaustion shows me that my toil hasn't even added a single extra moment to my life... it has added a single extra moment of joy or satisfaction to my days.
Mark 9:24 "Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!"
Oh Lord, I believe in your power and grace... my help my unbelief when I take my eyes off of you!... God help my unbelief!!!
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