People Wreck People!

Wake up...live at a pace of 1,000,000 miles an hour...go to bed...wake up and do it all over again... for the rest of your life! Oh, and try to find the time to maintain the relationships in your life ( family, friends, co-workers, room mates, the mailman, and if you are lucky that person of your dreams!). I make these statements with very limited vision. I am 25 years old, so what insight could I possibly offer anyone who has lived a day more than me? As I have taken a survey of the people that are running in and out of my life over the past couple of weeks... I have something to say that might be worth a listen (what a bold claim for a self-center guy like me, but here goes none the less).

There is a prominent Christian singer that has walked down an unfaithful road in his life. This guy sings with conviction of the awe and wonder of our faithful Creator. He tours the country and leads thousands of people in worship for the Lord our God. He has a beautiful young family, and "success." However one day he found himself to be an unfaithful husband to his wife. He cheated on his wife, the mother of his only son. I have something to say to this guy: The Lord's grace has given you right standing before the throne of the Father...but you have broken the heart of one of His daughters! Only the Lord can piece her fractured heart heart back together, but He has given you the command to surrender your life to give the rest of your life in sacrifice to your bride. I have never been on this guys side more than I am right now. I want to see this guy redeemed as a father and husband, because I want to see the Lord move with all his glory. I want to see Him move because I need hope. I need hope that tells me that not even our unfaithfulness can stop the glorious grace of our Saviour Jesus. I need hope for myself.

I have a friend that is fighting for his kids. He is fighting through the unfaithfulness of his wife. He is fighting through loneliness and hurt. He is fighting through the lies of the great deceiver that tells him he is not fit to father his own kids. He is fighting through this fog of pain and hardship... he is fighting for the future of his kids. He is fighting for the light in their eyes at the end of a long hard day. He is fighting for them, because the Lord has but these kids in his life. I have something to say to this guy: Keep fighting. Fight when there is light on the good sunny days. Fight in the thickness of a dark night. Fall to your knees at the foot of your kids bed and plead with to the only Father that has never failed His children. Plead with Him for the light of His Spirit. Cry out to Him for the strength to keep moving toward toward His will for the lives of those babies. Ask Him for the wisdom that moves boys to become men. And then get out of His way, and let Him take the lead. Follow Him.

I know a girl that left her husband and kids because she was unhappy. She chased the dreams of her youth, instead of being a mother to her kids. When she couldn't find anything of value in the world, she wanted her kids back... so she took them from their father. The father that never stops giving his kids everything he had...no matter how unsatisfied he was with his life. Her kids have become leverage instead of her babies. I have something to say to her: The Lord knew all your sins... and He died on a cross to save you from yourself. He knew all the wrongs you would commit, and He still loves you. But, children are not leverage. They are not the bargaining tools that get you the things you want. There are thousands of people that plead with the Lord to have the chance at having children... and you see your babies as a burden. I pray the Lord doesn't give you over to the desires of a sinful heart. I hope He begins to break and mold your heart to repentance. I hope you cry out of His forgiveness. I hope He restores your heart to love those kids like they are the best thing that has ever happened to you. I cannot condemn you, because my list of faults and sins are many. I hope for redemption for you, because I need it just as much as you.

There is a girl that has stolen my heart, and she has felt the sing of my sins. She has shown me love and trust. And, I have betrayed both. While she has given me forgiveness... her heart has been cracked. As I write this, she is alone in a room struggling with her own personal issues. She has places in her life that just aren't adding up. There is a war raging in her mind of what is right and wrong. There are lies that she has believed her entire life that she doesn't want to believe anymore...but it's not easy to untangle herself from the grasp of deception. I have something to say to this girl: You cannot fix yourself... no one can fix themselves. The weight of repairing yourself is not your burden to carry. You are strong and beautiful. Lay it all at His feet, then walk where He shines His light. Don't let me or your history stand in the way of finding the wholeness that your Father promised you. You are good, but it is okay to be a little messed up! The Lord love the chance to show you just how much He loves you...so let Him.

Then there is me... and I have plenty to say to myself: You are an idiot! You know the right path, but you walk the other way. You lie, cheat, and steal... you are an idiot! But, you are lovable. The Lord loves you! He loves you right now...not some future version of you. He love the messed idiot you are right now (thank you Matt Chandler). You are not Superman, you aren't even Batman... hell, you aren't even Mighty Mouse. So stop acting like you are. Be honest... you need the Lord more than you want to say, or more than you even know. He will sustain you. Just fall at His feet and let Him break every part of you that keeps you from His goodness. Smile every once in a while; there is joy to be found in the Lord!

God, help us all! Your cross is more than a tree. We are a busted people. Take all our junk and redeem us! Redeem us! We need you! I need you!

Transparency

The cost of transparency is enormous. It could end up costing you everything. It can cut you to the core of your existence. It will bring you to your knees, but hopefully you find yourself at the feet of the one who created you... and there you find the love that paid for what your best efforts could never buy.

There is no worst feeling than the one you feel when all of your junk goes public. The dark secrets you don't want anyone to know... or the secrets you try and keep from the ones who you know will be hurt the worst. There is a deep gasp that your stomach feels as your sins are laid bare in front of the people you have toiled to look like Superman in front of. There is nakedness that you suddenly feel... there is nothing to hide behind, no more lies to tell, no way to"spin" things so you don't look as bad... everything is on the table. There is no where to go, so you look into the eyes of the people you have hurt.

You run the risk of loosing close friends and those you love when your junk is laid bare at their feet. The way they look at you is changed... maybe it gets a lot clearer, because now they see more of you than you ever let them. What are they going to do with all this new information about you. What are they going to think about the "you" that you are when no one else is around? Are they going to walk away and condemn you... to be honest, you deserve it; you lied, cheated, stole, and hurt...

Here's the thing, I have spent so much time and energy try to hide myself from those who care about me. I have tried to hide the worst parts of who I am, because sin causes shame and guilt. So, instead of dealing with the sin, I would rather spend years in the agonising guilt and shame of my repeated sin. Even as a believer, who knows the saving power of Jesus, I have spent years trying to hide the dark places of my soul. The author of Hebrews tells us that there is nothing unseen by the Lord... there goes that sinking feeling the pit of my stomach again. He knows every ounce of me and my sins, so why hide?

In the most direct way I know how to say this to any of those who read this: Get help! Don't try and fix yourself in the dark of the night. Only the Lord can change your heart. You worst sin is not to big for Him, and there is no sin worth holding on to. Alcohol, drugs, pornography, lust, lies, hurt... there is no sin worth repeating, and no sin that the Lord can't help you get away from. He will walk with you as you walk way from the dark places of your soul. It's a hard painful road to even get to the point of admitting that there is a sin...but the road to the cross held the pain and sorrow of all men, where would we be if Jesus hadn't taken the hard steps? So there might be people that walk out of your life when you come clean in front of them... it will hurt like hell. But Jesus knows that pain, and I promise that freedom is better than bondage.

Oh, Mat Kearney, You Have Taken My Heart!

Okay, after about two years of absolutely devouring everything that Mat Kearney has every done... I was finally able to see him in concert last night. He has come to town multiple times, but I have never been able to go to the show...there was a little piece of me that died every time I missed the chance to see him (joking... not really... maybe a little!). Well, Leah bought us tickets to the show...she is amazing!!!

There is so much that I can say about the whole night, but I will keep in short because I don't want to cry. The show was greatness! I got to hear all of his stuff, including a couple of new songs. It was a great show for so many reasons: I had Leah in my arms while Mat sang old song that now have new meanings for me, the sound of the music was amazing and soulful, and I knew every word to every song...

But, there was a moment that totally caught me off guard. Mat started talking about his song "Won't Back Down". He said that he wrote it for Johnny Cash, and then started playing it on the piano. I listened to the familiar words and closed my eyes. As he came to the last part of the song, he sang

singing out the gentle sound
rattling through my smoking screens
my broken dreams last night

hallelujah ripped through my veins
i heard the hammer drop
my blood in the rain

hallelujah came like a train
when all is lost
all is left to gain
hallelujah

I raised my hand and tried to reach the Lord as I sang along: "When all is lost, all is left to gain, hallelujah". For a moment, in this extended time of weariness in my life, I felt a moment that felt authentic and true for the Lord. It only lasted seconds, but none the less, I felt my heart stretch out for the Lord...I've been sitting through tons of church services, meetings, and gatherings with a lack of call in my heart to worship... but at a Mat Kearney concert my heart jumped at a chance to let the Lord know that I still want to know Him. It has been a long time since that has happened for me... what a blessing.